No Fear

Several weeks ago Dennis and I took Jen, Jason and Lilly over to Blake Island on the boat. We had a picnic and played on the beach. Jennifer dug a deep hole and told Lilly that she was going to put her in it up to her neck. I signalled to Jen, "no, not that deep, she will be scared." Ha! When Jen had Lilly up to her shoulders, Lilly kept saying "more, more" I have attached some pictures.

Nancy

I'd rather be me

Lilly has a new backyard toy. A swing, fort, slide, climbing wall etc. all in one. The kind I wanted to get for my kids, but could never afford. Dana and I went to visit the other day. Lilly, of course, wanted us to watch her on her new toy. Push her on her new swing, (not like that, Grama, higher, higher) We went into the house. Lilly was sitting on Dana's lap. Jennifer told her they were going to Papa Buhrman's for dinner. Lilly looked at her and asked "Is Grama going?" Jennifer said, "no, just Auntie Dana." Lilly looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't want to go with you. I want to go with Auntie Dana." No candy coating it, no diplomacy, just short and sweet...I don't want to go with you.

Here are the thoughts. We change. We become, sometimes, who we are not. We listen to others tell us what we should say, should think. At this same time that Lilly was being just herself, I was reading a new book . "Miss Alcott's Emails" It is a little known fact that before Dick Francis became my favorite author the spot was held by Louisa May Alcott. In this book we find a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson "Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for." Lilly's words made me think of how we encourage people to become better at what they can't do well instead of saying "you can do these five things well, let's work on doing them great." I will try to do that with my family and friends. I will lead to their strengths not their weaknesses. I will encourage them to be themselves, to listen to their own inner voice, even if it is not one I hear or understand.

Yours in perfecting who we are,
Nancy

Time

This is going to be harder than I thought. Time seems to pass much too quickly. I wonder if I will live long enough for Lilly to remember me. The thought of that originally made me sad. I guess I still does, but not as sad. Then I thought that it was okay she didn't remember me. I was doing these things with her, for me, not for her. THEN the epiphany hit me. I am helping to form Lilly in ways we will never know. We all are. Our being in her life, our loving her, our day to day interactions with her, help form the very essence of her. She is a compilation of all of us. The personality she was born with, our interactions, all are important. It makes it easier for me. I know that even if she doesn't remember me, Grandma, she will have a part of me in her.

I picked her up from school the other day. We stopped by the store. After picking up our groceries, we entered the check out line. I used my debit card, something didn't work so the cashier shouts, at what I am sure, is the top of his lungs "insufficient funds". I knew I had funds in that account, several funds as a matter of fact. After trying it another time, I said I would just go to the ATM, which I did. While standing there entering my PIN number, Lilly tried to help push the buttons. Unfortunately, she doesn't know my PIN number, so she wasn't much help. I asked her to not push the buttons...and again not to push the buttons...and again not to push the buttons. Finally I leaned over and said "Lilly, do. not. push. the. buttons." She looked up at me, shook her finger and said "Gwama, don't talk to me like that." hummm, wonder where she heard that!

So what is our lesson from today. Be very careful what you say to Lilly. It is soaking in on many levels!

Love to all,
Nancy

Day One

I've never had a blog before. I am building? making? doing? this blog so that I can put down some of the thoughts I have while I am watching Lilly.

We were just at Bryce and Dana's spot in Hansville. Lilly is such a water baby. She would rather be in or around the water than anywhere else, or so it seems. She in many ways is fearless. Very secure in her world. As well as being "so stinkin cute" according to the family.

Many thoughts rolling around, but I am writing just to get this blog started.